Q: Marriage is not something I take lightly and when I think of the importance of it, I can’t help feeling nervous and a little sad at times. I am in love and happy to be engaged and really believe I’m making the right decision to get married. I’m just wondering if it’s normal to feel happy and worried at the same time?
A: In every other major life transition, feelings of happiness and sadness are not only expected but are also understood and supported by those closest to us. When you started middle school, when you reached a milestone in a hobby or sport, or when you took a job away from your hometown, those around you could relate and understand the varying emotions you faced. Did those nervous feelings, sadness or loss stop you from following through with your plans? Probably not. You were allowed by others and yourself to work through your thoughts and emotions and feelings of discomfort to make the transition. Engagement is also the time where you should be doing exactly what you have done in every other life transition. It is a vital time to recognize and process anxiety and sadness as normal, allowing yourself the time and space to feel these feelings and discuss and analyze them with your fiancé and others who can be supportive and sympathetic to what you are going through.